Reflections on the eve of my Confirmation of Candidature (CoC)

Tomorrow, my Candidature as a PhD student studying social and cultural resistance to the status quo via reading as an act of resistance, is assessed. My thesis is called: What’s in your Dash? Is reading Brene Brown an act of political, social, and cultural resistance to traditional intellectuals? My main research question is, How do three distinct bodies of knowledge, Brown’s Shame Resilience Theory, Lived Experience, and Gramsci’s Organic Intellectualism, align to create a move from lived experience to Lived Experience?

Imposter syndrome jumps on my shoulder and whispers in my ear: "What if they don't think it is feasible as a PhD project?" Lucky for me I am familiar with killing off Mr Imposter Syndrome. I give him a shot of purple peril by silently answering him in the iciest tone I can muster, "Don't be so ridiculous. My supervisor is Professor Brabazon and she would have already counselled me out of application if that was the case. I am ready. I am prepared. I am worthy." I may also add a cheeky, "Fuck off, mate!" No, I DEFINITELY add that!!

I have put my heart and soul into preparing my research proposal. Limited by a word count, there is still so much to say in preparation for a 100,000 word PhD research project. There are so many theories I could also use that interact nicely with my three main theorists and two underlying focused psychological strategies. but this is just the proposal and there is still much work to be done.

I have concerns, naturally, but I am also confident that my proposal is robust, well articulated and thorough. I could have included more literature, particularly a review of reading as an act of resistance, but the main thrust is on whether reading Brene Brown educates people enough to change them from self healing to becoming a Lived Experience Educator by combing their experience with their learning to then help another person to recover from a life changing event in a way that the individual needs rather than being told how to recover according to a mental health system. It's about knowing if reading Brene Brown is enough to encourage natural helpers or first responders.

Over the last six months I have read voraciously - I have been down rabbit holes that went nowhere and rabbit holes that connected to my thesis question. But, I wouldn't have found the interconnections unless I went down ALL those holes. I didn't know about one of my main frameworks, Gramsci's Intellectualism and Cultural Hegemony,  until I started disappearing into rabbit holes. I didn't know about concepts like "psychogeography' or 'cultural feminism' until I started talking with other PhD students. I didn't know how much I didn't know until I became a rabbit looking for my burrow.

After CoC, I submit to ethics and once I am stamped as ethically appropriate, I will call for readers of Brene Brown who have experienced a life changing event to join me at on-line Book Club to discuss their learnings and actions from the book. If participants want to talk further, we then have a one-on-one.

If you have faced a life changing event and you want to participate in this research, then start reading Brene Brown or reflecting on the ones you have already read. She has nine books: chose one, three or all nine.  Each week on-line book club will focus on a different one of her books and you come to the one (or three or nine) that you've read.

I have no incentives to give book club participants. You instead win by immediately contributing to the Lived Experience Workforce Development literature by raising the consciousness around the educative value of experience in community based natural helpers and first responders. Helping our friends and acquaintances is priceless and something I want in our collective dash.

👵🏼 Megan Bayliss

👩🏼‍🎓 PhD candidate: social and cultural resistance to the status quo.

PS: If you would like to attend my CoC online then details are here on Professor Brabazon's site: Confirmation of Candidature: A double feature. And here is a list of my definitions that you need to have with you to save explanation time during my 15 minute presentation.