Book Review: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead, by Brene Brown (2012) is a book of hope. Hope is conceptualised by an author Brown quotes as a series of thoughts made up of goals, pathways and agency: the Plan B for when life doesn't go the way we really want it to (Snyder 2002). This book is about using the vulnerability and shame that life smears over so many of us, to overcome, to rise and to lead a different and more congruent life based on our values, care, emotional and relational intelligence.  Based on twelve years of Social Work research with people hurt by words, actions, rejections and upbringing, this book enables a practical pathway for new thoughts, discussions, life examinations and ways to say, "I'm sorry" to those we love and care for. It is a book that actively encourages vulnerability and normalises failure as strength and resilience. Opening with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt (2020) about the man in the arena being the strong one whereas the critic of the man in the arena is the one who doesn't count, the book sets the scene for difference, for wholeheartedness, for change; for hope. Purchased from the self-help section, it could equally be catalogued under Parenting or Business as this 263 page instructional manual is an Aladdin's cave of management: of self, children, family, teams, business and the shame shields we all build up without realising what they are or why we are doing it. 

Results: A seasoned therapist, I learned a different perspective about the self compassion of vulnerability and that it is okay to start again from a wholehearted position in management, business, family, friendships and with the person in the mirror. Based on Brown's Shame Resilience Theory the points are illustrated with real life examples of change from research participants. Importantly, through the application of theory to the examples, I learned that vulnerability is my missing jigsaw puzzle piece of internal strength and the bravado I show is more harmful to my career progression than actually sitting and dealing with the shame. My shame shields are well developed and prevent me from being congruent with my values and core beliefs. These learnings are not mine alone: the book emerges from grounded research with a general public and the analysed results are presented in lay speak... not theoretical at all meaning anyone can pick it up and easily understand the concepts around undoing the effects of shame and rebuilding with the four elements of shame resilience.

I have read this book four times and each time I read I gain a different perspective and a deeper integration of the theory. My hope of being able to change my emotional responses and subsequent behaviours grows. I feel empathy and compassion for the participants illustrated in the stories and I carry those feelings with me so I now easily recognise shame in the people I speak to. This is a great outcome for me as a friend, partner and parent as these are the ones who have missed out on my best as I have strived to give my clients my best. This one book has dared me to be great in all life areas: to be a wholehearted person always. 

Strengths and Weaknesses: Easy to read or listen to (it is also on Audible), this book is a practical guide - a how-to of daring greatly in all areas of life. It is jam packed with ideas and opportunities to face and be vulnerable without giving away your internal power. Encouraging purposeful vulnerability equals turning a lived or living negative experience into a positive experience of using yourself as a tool to change yourself and the world at your own grass roots level. 

The book may be a powerful piece of passive psychoeducation to assist counselling or coaching clients to integrate what they are learning about during their one-on-one sessions with their professional. Equally, as a piece of bibliotherapy Daring Greatly shows strong promise and the very name of the book makes the fifth step of bibliotherapy (5. Design one or more follow-up, book-connected activities, based on your interest and ability) easy to achieve. There are so many examples of how people dared greatly that it is impossible for a reflective reader not to reflect on how they also could dare greatly.

The book's weakness to an academic audience is that it is a book born of robust research (Brown is a research professor in Social Work) but written as popular culture: Pop Psychology. Despite the engaging style of writing, the personal stories, and genre of self-help, each chapter has a reference list worthy of academic robustness. The research has been commercialised into a best-selling sensation. The commercialisation gives it strength as this is not research that sits solely in the dusty annals of academia. This is living research that makes a difference to millions of lives by putting the findings and a pathway of change directly into the hands of the non-academic.

Recommendation: This is a worthwhile book to read or listen to for people wanting to be a better person, by being emotionally intelligent and congruent with their values. I liked it the first read but I now love it by the fourth read and it has become more of a reference text than a self development read. This is a book I would give as a gift to people wanting to become a better version of themselves. I think it is a particularly powerful gift for readers expecting a child. If one parent or grandparent breaks the shame cycle and models their new parenting skills to their cohort then the contagion of change and hope spreads. After all, hope is the greatest untapped healer that we have...and Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (2012) supports that.

Disclaimer: This book review is written to fulfil partial requirements of my industry partner internship with Typeface Books. Brene Brown is one of my PhD theorists, specifically her Shame Resilience Theory is used to explain resistance to the status quo. 

References

Bayliss, M. (2021) Bibliotherapy. Using Story Books to Help Kids (& Big Kids) Solve Problems. [White Paper] The Junk Wave. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1RQElAK_9p1m2BIBqSMVOoqvfBrU4U9Fq/view?usp=sharing 

Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, NY, Gotham Books.

Kindlepreneur. 2021, August 27. How to write the perfect book review [Video] YouTube https://youtu.be/Vzf0sw222qE?si=IW5CkTi_cVIQNcWD 

Roosevelt, T. (2020). Citizenship in a Republic. Czechia: Good Press.

👵🏼 Megan Bayliss

👩🏼‍🎓 PhD candidate: social and cultural resistance to the status quo